Transparent

This has got to be my most boring post ever, but at this minute, I have no drama or angst to report. Somewhat unusually, I have all three kids and three dogs with me tonight.  Sweet!  

We spent the evening eating and hanging out together. My new home is extremely cozy and was more so tonight with freezing rain, hail and fierce winds  whipping up a pounding surf.  Sitting here listening to the crashing waves is much more exciting than being at my old house on the suburban-style cul-de-sac.


It's fantastic being here without all the tension and drama that always happened when my wife was with us.  My wife just pisses people off all the time with her bossiness, interference and micro-managing ways. Before long, she puts everyone is in a foul, snappish mood.

My mortgage was finally approved but my requires my wife to sign off on the deed. I have no doubt the will throw up some more roadblocks before that happens! The kids and I also had our first serious conversation about what my financial situation might look like after the divorce.  Challenging times ahead!

With a mortgage, alimony payments and help needed for university tuition, there will be no extra cash (ie: none) for many years to come.   The kids and I discussed this problem and agreed that we would do everything needed to keep our waterfront home.   We will just make it happen!

Photo-shopped, but still a fun pic.

All the kids have summer jobs and would fund themselves as much as possible.   We also agreed that, if necessary, we would vacate our home for a week or two in the summer tourist season and rent it out.   The $1,200/week (or more) for rent would certainly pay a few bills!

To make up for the boring-ness of this post, how about some hot guys in transparent white?   A couple of years ago at the beach, I noticed was mesmerized by a early 20ish guy wearing white board shorts which went semi-transparent when wet, somewhat like the second picture.   A very rare sighting indeed!

The hint of that thick, meaty, cut cock on that young man literally made my mouth water. I had to walk by a few times to get a better look; old perv that I am. 

Dr. Jekyl and Ms. Hyde

All pics from bigbeautifulbulges.tumblr.com/ 

Thank you for all your supportive comments and fantastic advice on my most recent post! Every comment has an element of truth. I wasn`t surprised at my wife`s behaviour: the kids and I have seen it all before!

Despite our harsh conversation, our agreements basically remained intact.  Numerous friends and close colleagues have advised me to "hold a steady course" and not to overreact to this cyclical, erratic behaviour.  Much of the time, my wife is very reasonable, given the upheaval that has happened in her life.

As I expected, two days later, she phoned and we had a very long, mature conversation about our 15 year old son. (trouble at school!)  Once again, I marvelled at our ability to come to a easy agreements when discussing parenting issues:  damn, we're good!! 

In a sweet gesture (out of guilt?, being manipulative?), she offered me a $200 gift card she had for my favourite grocery store.  She also offered to "do battle" with my cell phone provider over some difficulty I'd been having.  There are times when having a pushy, aggressive wife comes in handy.  

I'm expecting (or perhaps hoping) that the present "calm" lasts until April 30, at which point I will get full ownership of my waterfront home.   By law, all divorcing couples in my province must undergo a couple of hours of mediation with a lawyer before the divorce can proceed.  Our mediation session is scheduled for May 8th.   The majority of our settlement has already been agreed upon but if there is any last-minute flip-flopping, I will cancel the session!

To answer a few questions from the last post:
CoryJo:  The cyclical behaviour may very well be caused by bipolar disorder.  My father has been gravely concerned about my wife's changeable behaviour for years.  She has several close family members with psychiatric problems.

The problem is, when a person is in the middle of an emotional / mental health problem, they are not always able to acknowledge that they have a problem.    My wife will never seek help unless she's forced to by some major crisis.  Even during the best times of our marriage, she would use bullying tactics and manipulative behaviour (usually on others).  Due to her crushing lack of self-esteem, she had to get her own way all the time.

Anonymous:  Even if I'd have been straight, our marriage had no chance of lasting.  Now that I'm on my own, I couldn't imagine living with someone who was that bossy, angry and micro-managing.  How did I do it all those years?

Cubby:  My wife does not know that I am seeing someone.  I know that she already has extreme difficulty with just the thought of that happening..... it will be along time before she finds out, I hope!

Skier:  yes, I'm not sure my wife is ready to "let go."   But, there is nothing left to hang on to.


TwoLives:   "Calm but firm."   Excellent advice!

Oppositional Behaviour

All pics from hairymen.tumblr.com/ 

As we approach the closing date for our house sale, my wife's behaviour has become erratic again after months of relative calm.    Rather than helping, she spends her time throwing up roadblocks every step of the way.

She refused to sign the Offer of Purchase after it had been vetted by the lawyers and signed by the other three parties, including me.    At midnight, she phoned to say that she wouldn't sign it unless I guaranteed that we would remain married for another eight years.   She wanted to remain on my work medical plan until I retired. 

WTF!  I wouldn't want to remain married to her for another 8 minutes, let alone 8 years!!  I said, "Like....NO!  We need to move on with our lives.   I'm going through this bullshit for the next eight years."

Just as abruptly, she said that we need to get divorced ASAP and was demanding alimony payments until I retire.  We had previously agreed to that anyway, since her income (after she retires in June 2012) will  be about 1/3rd of mine.   This is one of my moral and legal obligations to provide some equalization of our incomes;  I accept that.

The other day, she phoned out of the blue and said she was refusing to sign the Transfer of Deed form, giving me full ownership of my waterfront home, reneging on a previous written agreement.   We had an extremely heated discussion and in the end, she agreed to sign.   Until she signs, my transfer to her of $140,000 will remain in the hands of the lawyers, forever, if need be..... the lawyer can keep the money forever, for all I care.

We have a two-hour mediation session with a lawyer on May 8th which should bring us to our final divorce agreement.  I am holding out little hope that it will be that easy.   She is in a mood to "do battle" over everything.   If her erratic behaviour continues in our discussions before the mediation, I'm cancelling the whole thing.

Right now, it is all taking, taking, taking.   "I want this,  "I want that,   I want, I want, I want...."  The other day, my wife drove up to my house to fetch my daughter who was drying her hair.  My wife said, "I want that towel."   My daughter came into the house and said, "Mom is behaving like a three-year-old."   I said, "Give her the towel;   I can afford to get another Wal-Mart towel." 

All the kids are fed up with her behaviour.  My daughter said, "She doesn't have to take everything."   I just want her to go away, to be out of my life forever.

My wife took the towel but tried to return it days later, probably out of  guilt.  I said, "Keep the fucking towel."   Imagine that scene repeated hundreds of times, with items ranging in value from one dollar to hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Tiresome!!

Easter Randomness

www.modelmayhem.com

Here are some Easter Sunday hotties.  I'd planned on recreating the first as a self-pic to post, but I've somehow misplaced my camera in the move.  Darn!

We are not going to church this Easter Sunday.  In fact, in the first 30 years of my life, I never attended a single church service.  Not one!

My parents' were troubled by the hypocrisy of the church-goers they knew.  These "churchy" types were more often involved in moral lapses such as drinking to excess or cheating on their taxes or their spouses.

This open-crotch shot makes me hard:
 I wish I was between his legs.

Having been married in the church and baptized the three kids there, my wife and I felt guilted into attending.  We quit after about a year for various reasons:

1. Going to church with three young children was more work than actually going to work.
2. It was tiresome hearing the same message every week, "You're all a bunch of sinners and you're going to rot in hell", when we knew that were were good people.
3. I wasn't getting a thing from the services, spiritually.  It was all repeating passages by rote ..... mindless and meaningless.
4. Our pastor was involved in an abuse scandal involving 13 year olds and said to the congregation, "It's your fault for not finding it in your hearts to forgive me."

Okay, we're done here!!!

I'm having a very pleasant four-day weekend with most of my kids at my new waterfront home.  The new header picture shows my spectacular and highly unusual front yard.   You can see why I gave my lawn tractor to the purchasers of my old house!

These bunnies are way too hairless for my tastes, but I'd do them all, given the chance.

A reluctant bottom

Right now, I'd describe myself as a highly-motivated but reluctant bottom.   I'm determined to bottom successfully and experience pleasure from it.  We've done it now several times and I haven't completely gotten into it.

I blogged about my first "sort of" bottoming experience here and another more successful experience here.    Recently, my guy didn't want to continue because he worried that he was hurting me.  I tried to assure him that I wasn't in pain.  He wasn't convinced when I described myself as experiencing "less discomfort" rather than actual pain.  After each bottoming experience it would take me several days to recover 'down there.'

So far, I have not experienced anything remotely resembling pleasure while being a bottom. However, I very much like the idea of having my guy in me and the pleasure it gives him.

A few points:

• I need to achieve a higher state of relaxation and warm-up before bottoming.  Right now, I'm rather dreading it.   
• Stress is a big factor here, I think.   Now that I am soon to get sole ownership of my new home, I am much less stressed-out, but has only happened very recently.  
• One issue is that we're both inexperienced to different degrees.  It would be helpful to be with a really experienced top, but I really have no desire to surrender my bottom to some stranger. 
• I think a important factor is the position used.   Which is best for a tight, inexperienced virgin?  Doggie Style?   Missionary Position? Bent over a couch?  I was told this last one open you up the best, but I haven't put it to the test.

Help!  Bottoming advice needed!!

Jockstrapped

I'm largely moved out to my new waterfront home.  Too exciting!!   I can't describe what an enormous pleasure it is to arrange my new home as I see fit.  Even during the best times of our marriage, my wife was quite bossy and controlling.

There were constant negotiations over things which didn't matter, such as which drawer the cutlery should be stored in.   I'd invariably defer to her wishes to keep the peace, but it was a constant annoyance, her desire to "do battle" over everything.

Now, I am free to hang my pictures and artwork, arrange furniture and the kitchen in any way I Goddamn well please.  I never anticipated how much I've missed that freedom over the past 20 years.  My new home is looking FABULOUS!

There is much to do at our "sold" home before it closes on April 30th.   I am still spending much time there, although it is essentially an empty shell.  Although we raised the kids  and spent our entire marriage there (including many happy times), I not sorry to leave it behind.  The house represented a chapter in our lives which no longer exists.

It's been a long time since I've worn my jockstraps, both black and white, since I packed them away last October.   When I find them, I will post a few new pics of me in all my jockstrapped glory.   Until then, you will have to make do with these hotties.

Foreskin Docking (NSFW)

My house sale closes in one month and I'm busier than ever.  The new purchasers are very excited about their new home and in fact, waived their legal right to have a professional home inspection done.   They settled on a  handshake saying, "Well, everything works, doesn't it?"  How often does that happen?

So, I have much to do, replacing a broken soap dispenser on the dishwasher, replacing a cracked window, replacing several window screens ruined by doggie claws and completing many little wiring and plumbing jobs which didn't quite get finished over the past 22 years. 

The new owners have very exciting plans for the house and that has generated extra work for me.  The new lady of the house offered to give me the old natural gas cooktop and wall oven (worth $3,000 new.    Woo-hoo!   I love cooking on natural gas!!)   In exchange, all I had to do was to remove the old cooktop and install the new electric one, purchased by her.   Similarly, I agreed to install a few light fixtures and keep the old ones for myself. 

During some pillow talk recently, my special guy introduced me to a new term recently, foreskin docking.   It looks incredibly hot, but since neither of us has a foreskin, it is one gay sex act which we will NOT be doing. I'm so jealous!