tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post6185372838391886357..comments2024-03-07T20:17:12.957-07:00Comments on One Step at a Time: Muscular man thighsBuddy Bearhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-65579033053597612922014-02-02T14:25:48.324-07:002014-02-02T14:25:48.324-07:00Lots of documentation... write down everything she...Lots of documentation... write down everything she wants you to pay for, whether you do or not and how much (always by cheque so you have a receipt). Write down time of texts, especially repeated texting as you mention. <br /><br />Then, when or if either of you is facing a judge, YOU have the upper hand. Judges appreciate good documentation.<br /><br />Peace <3<br />JayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-49204403923783171322014-02-02T14:23:54.404-07:002014-02-02T14:23:54.404-07:00Your 17.3 year old son can probably do it in his s...Your 17.3 year old son can probably do it in his sleep. Just tell him to show you how to do it generically, and pick your mother's name to assign "How Great Thou Art" or something to it.<br />Peace <3<br />JayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-59321732272884190892014-02-02T14:08:20.959-07:002014-02-02T14:08:20.959-07:00that tumblr is my new mecca.
best of luck with yo...that tumblr is my new mecca.<br /><br />best of luck with your ex...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-13505788630296811172014-02-02T09:48:33.790-07:002014-02-02T09:48:33.790-07:00Rugby thighs are the best.
Hope it all works out ...Rugby thighs are the best. <br />Hope it all works out for you Buddy.Justinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18156325449507023253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-76349804907394665252014-02-02T07:06:09.672-07:002014-02-02T07:06:09.672-07:00And also thanks for all the excellent suggestions....And also thanks for all the excellent suggestions.... they were the best of all! I especially like the 'once-a-day' reading of the e-mails.Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-15132052849464270302014-02-02T07:02:31.660-07:002014-02-02T07:02:31.660-07:00Thanks for all that excellent advice!Thanks for all that excellent advice!Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-32661653496976293722014-02-02T07:01:54.851-07:002014-02-02T07:01:54.851-07:00The different ringtone is a fantastic idea! I don...The different ringtone is a fantastic idea! I don't know enough about my Samsung Galaxy III phone to do this; maybe I should get one of my twenty-something bed-mates to do it for me!Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-26987550366101178282014-02-02T07:00:08.388-07:002014-02-02T07:00:08.388-07:00I remember you telling me that she still wants me ...I remember you telling me that she still wants me in her life some way. The irony is that her tactics have pushed me further and further away. And yes, I have concerns about her initiating legal action, especially 5.5 years from how when my spousal support payments stop.Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-18052280406211900822014-02-02T06:58:19.616-07:002014-02-02T06:58:19.616-07:00Yes; divorce is forever! Our agreement specifica...Yes; divorce is forever! Our agreement specifically states: "With consultation and agreement" with regard to these exceptional expenses.Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-42005884775509188152014-02-02T06:57:13.288-07:002014-02-02T06:57:13.288-07:00Thanks, Rick! If might not come to that! But for...Thanks, Rick! If might not come to that! But for now, the sums involved don't justify the $450/hour lawyers' fees!Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-12275914902889415282014-02-02T06:56:10.906-07:002014-02-02T06:56:10.906-07:00Adam.... thank you for relating your story about s...Adam.... thank you for relating your story about someone who's has lived through this! Us formerly married gay Dads must stick together! It's good to know that we're not alone.Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-75619390708298652702014-02-02T06:55:00.107-07:002014-02-02T06:55:00.107-07:00Coming from a woman, your viewpoint is especially ...Coming from a woman, your viewpoint is especially valuable to me. Thanks for taking the time to write!Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-73697348747490645592014-02-02T06:54:18.379-07:002014-02-02T06:54:18.379-07:00Thank you to everyone who offered such concern and...Thank you to everyone who offered such concern and sensible advice. I won't comment individually on your suggestions because I will deal with them all on Monday's post. The therapist made many similar suggestions which I will follow. **hugs**Buddy Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18052407067718899985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-70858111542620250942014-02-01T23:59:20.176-07:002014-02-01T23:59:20.176-07:00"limits" and "structure" - the..."limits" and "structure" - the two magic words to learn and apply. .<br />I hate texting and the manners (or lack thereof) they can elicit. Ur-spohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04237644452200889946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-64557809418344075192014-02-01T21:54:19.241-07:002014-02-01T21:54:19.241-07:00I'm a divorced dad too, and I also deal with a...I'm a divorced dad too, and I also deal with an irrational ex. I hate the feeling of having my throat thicken when the phone shows she's on the other end. It's one reason I'm on blood pressure meds now. At some point I decided I was not a slave to her ranting calls, and I let most of her calls go to voicemail so I could listen to them when I was calmer. One time I answered after several rings and heard her saying, "He's avoiding me again. He's not going to answer the phone." Bitch! I sweetly said hello. ;)<br /><br />It's gotten easier as my kids have gotten older and the calls are fewer. But even though they are adults and living on their own, I still have to deal with her and her crappy attitude from time to time. I do it as gracefully as I can for the kids' sake, and I think they've always appreciated it. Hang in there, bro.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02079974603858397595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-9308671125611221222014-02-01T14:36:19.876-07:002014-02-01T14:36:19.876-07:00Oh, she is still angry at you. It’s her way of get...Oh, she is still angry at you. It’s her way of getting back at you, forcing you to interact with her. <br /><br />About the texting:<br />Write her, that you do work, you don’t have time to react to all her texts at unreasonable times. Since it often may concern topics about your kids, suggest her that she can email you and you are going to check the mails once a day. If it is very urgent, she should call you – but stress the fact that it needs to be URGENT for a call. If it is just a disagreement she has with your son, it can wait till you have time to read the mails. Your daughters are both grown-ups and you don’t see the necessity to discuss them any longer with her. <br /><br />About the money:<br />You have the agreement, which states very clearly what needs to be paid and also that big expense need to be discussed in advance. Anything else she’s bought is not your concern and you don’t have to pay it. If she buys stuff neither you nor the kids want, don’t pay. I absolutely agree with Will. If she wants to buy something expensive, she can contact you and explain why she thinks it’s necessary. Then you have the opportunity to ask the kids, what they think of it, if they need it. Remind her of the “IN ADVANCE”-part. <br />And the stuff she’s bought so far…..if you really think that maybe you should pay some of it to keep the peace (actually, I wouldn’t), she should make a list, with copies of the receipts and you go through the list with your kids, so that they can tell you, which of the buys were necessary. These are the ones you’re going to pay your share, the rest is her problem.<br />Good luck.<br />Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-14190226779515482652014-02-01T13:24:30.124-07:002014-02-01T13:24:30.124-07:00I agree with Sean about the texting. In particular...I agree with Sean about the texting. In particular, I would make texts from her silent, so that you do not associate notifications with negativity. I wish there was a way you could communicate that you will respond to her texts on your timeline, not hers. Then she can text you 50 times an hour, but you might only see one.<br /><br />The expenses thing is hard. I do think it is reasonable to ask for receipts. <br /><br />Old Lurkernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-49577110362461882842014-02-01T13:14:55.169-07:002014-02-01T13:14:55.169-07:00I have no experience in this but do have a few sug...I have no experience in this but do have a few suggestions. You might be able to assign a specific ring tone to her txts and calls so at least you know if it's her or not. Since she has no issues contacting you then maybe when she's in a less negative mood you can ask her to contact you before buying things over a certain amount or things that might fall outside your agreement. <br />Hope you struck gold!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-85387616592855978342014-02-01T12:43:51.341-07:002014-02-01T12:43:51.341-07:00I agree with skier, but I would urge you to do so ...I agree with skier, but I would urge you to do so in writing with a clear restatement of the divorce agreement, stating that her expenditures were made without prior consultation with you and over your children's objections. Keep copies. I thought some while ago (and mentioned in a comment) that her tactics were aimed at keeping you in her life some way, any way. Legal action to get you to pay what she would claim was "your share" would be a very effective way for her to do it. Willhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14279473113628377106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-62726299486773646952014-02-01T12:02:43.288-07:002014-02-01T12:02:43.288-07:00I think you will have to accept you will always be...I think you will have to accept you will always be in each other's lives. As for the expenses, if they fall outside of the agreement, don't pay them. Don't attempt to pay them and make it clear you aren't going to pay them.skierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00094802443325458254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3970098682068094639.post-75549595033419558492014-02-01T12:01:26.411-07:002014-02-01T12:01:26.411-07:00To me it sounds like a court action. To me it sounds like a court action. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15748647880510666701noreply@blogger.com