Monday, February 17, 2014


Here are some random thoughts as we head in to the new week:

1.   I posted a couple weeks ago about accidentally seeing a gorgeous, naked student in the shower at the athletic complex.  I see Shower Boy every day in class wearing a T-shirt two sizes too big and stained, saggy-assed track pants.

I cannot get the constant thought of seeing him naked out of my mind but no longer feel guilty about it from a teacher point of view.  It wasn't my fault!

A lesson learned:  you can never tell what treasures lie hidden beneath some guy's pants!  Today's pictures are from a great "clothed-unclothed" website which celebrates this fact.

2.  I've been messaged persistently over the past month by a guy whose profile says he's 52 but when I asked, admitted to being older.  He seems very nice, actually but smacks of being over-eager to meet me.

At a very early stage, he provided his location, name and phone number.  He says he's single but was in a LTR for over 15 years but his partner (I'm sure he meant a man) passed away ten years ago.

Finally, I agreed to meet him for coffee after work tomorrow;  I was running out of excuses not to do it.   I'm not looking forward to it, actually.  I'm fairly sure that he is looking for something serious and I am really, really not ready to take anyone else into my life, even on the most casual of dating relationships.   I'll just have to be honest with him;  any suggestions as to how to handle this?

And to sound really shallow, it didn't help that he was the spitting image of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

3.   After seven weeks of no contact, Lanky Student messaged me again.  He's 27, tall, slim, handsome, bearded and super chill guy who I wrote about in point #6 of this post.

Last night, we chatted at length and he was very complimentary, saying I'm handsome and have a 'hot body." etc.  I told him:  "Dude, seriously?  You're the handsome one!" which he brushed off.

 Among other things, he asked if I would consider arranging a threesome with me, him and another guy my age.  Really?  I offered him numerous choices and he thought Mr. Handsome (the father of one of my last year's students) would be the best choice.

I'd be absolutely shocked if Lanky Student actually followed through;  I think he's more timid and inexperienced than he lets on.  But we've planned another coffee date in my car tonight to discuss it.

Even if we never get past the talking stage, it's been a very pleasant meeting a handsome, intelligent, sweet, young man.  I just like spending time with men! 


  1. It's like belts for me. It's like unwrapping a christmas present. You undo it and pull down the fly and its either the new transformers toy or a pair of socks.
    Those stained and saggy assed trackpants sound promising though,

    P.S Lanky means HUGE cock.

    1. You're a funny guy! I always insist taking off a guy's pants myself ... it's like unwrapping a Christmas present and you never know what delights await.

  2. Wonder why shower boy wears such cruddy clothes? Hmmm...but I'm glad you're over any guilt about the non-encounter.

    Peace <3

    1. Shower boy comes from a lower-income family and they live out in the country. He doesn't seem to have any nicer clothes. In our small town and at my somewhat inner-city school, there are many lower-income families and some rather poor-looking students.

      In general, the students are not as trendy as you would expect in a larger, richer centre like, for example, a wealthy suburb in Vancouver or Toronto.

  3. these queer "La maja Desnuda' are lovely artwork in themselves.

  4. Wanted to offer some thoughts from my own experience that may or may not be useful to you. Your mileage will doubtless vary from mine!

    (Married for 30 years, came out, divorced, two sons supportive, ex-wife on polite terms.) When I first came out I was totally gun-shy about anything resembling a long-term relationship. Having just ended a 30-year marriage and a 7-year affair with a man, I was not at all sure I was capable or interested in something long-term. Though I do know this about myself: I'm not a one-night stand kind of guy, and ultimately would want something stable.

    Within 6 months of being on my own, a guy approached me who was not my standard preferred body type, but at that point I wasn't turning anything down. We had lunch. He was funny and intelligent and normal, which I couldn't say about most of the others I'd met. He was fine with just dating a bit, but I noticed that he had long-term relationships with both his former wife and a long-time male partner in his past.

    Turns out he's been my partner for 8 years, now. Living with me, and we couldn't be happier. I've figured out that there are two kinds of guys: ones that take my breath away in pictures or at a distance, and ones I'd like to spend my life with. It took a long time for me to get over my self-doubt about relationships, and this guy tolerated my anxiety and unpredictability. He's kind, fun, easygoing, grounded. He may not be the hottest porn star in the world, but then again neither am I. And it turns out that my ideal "type" has migrated more to his type, by virtue of my enjoyment of him!

    So, maybe give yourself over to the experience with Dr. Beaker Honeydew and see what happens. Someday when you're ready to settle down a bit, you'll know more about yourself and who you're looking for.

    One more thought: I've had the good fortune to be in a group of formerly-married-to-women gay men, and we are a weird subculture in the gay culture. We have a different mindset it often seems. A bit more willing to sacrifice for the good of kids, spouse, etc. Understand what it takes to make a LTR work; less idealistic, more realistic. At least, that's what we brag about amongst ourselves! That can be a fertile dating pool for someone whose head is in a similar place.

    I enjoy reading your blog, and sharing it with our new guys who are just coming out.


    1. Thank you, Kevin for taking the time to speak at length about your journey and thoughts about its outcome. I am another such, and was particularly caught by your "two sons supportive" comment. With me it was two daughters adopted from Korea who I raised as a single gay dad (they refused to live with the ex). THE man came along when I least expected it and it has been a fantastic 17 years. All the best to you!

    2. Kevin, I deeply appreciate your fantastic advice based on your own experience. You are very wise and of course, correct!

      I've received many private e-mails from formerly married gay men with kids who said exactly the same thing; that guys like these make better partners because they are accustomed to considering the needs of others and are less self-centred.

      And I find it flattering that you direct other new guys like us to read my blog. Very cool! I assume you're American? Why don't you e-mail me?

  5. Buddy Bear, I am a bit confused. On the one hand, you love talking about the random hook ups and great sex you are having now that you are a "free gay man" after years of denying yourself who you are and what you want. You say your are not ready for any LTR, you just want to play the field. Yet, on other posts, you lament that you don't have that special someone, a guy who will make cold Valentine's Nights something special, unique and wonderful.

    Which is it?

    If you don't really know what you want, logic suggests you will have a very difficult time finding it.

    1. Yes, I knew that I seeing inconsistent as I wrote those two posts. It is true that I would like the company of a sweet, sexy man on an occasional night like last Valentines Day. But after 20 years of marriage and just 10 months of divorce, I know unequivocally that I am NOT, NOT, NOT ready for an LTR with anyone. I don't think I"m ready even for a casual dating relationship.

      I hope and expect that I will when the time is right for me for serious dating and a LTR. This might happen simultaneously when I meet someone special.

      But in the meantime, I really enjoy my random hookups enormously and have not yet had my fill of enjoying cock of all kinds and of all ages. If I was somehow forced to stop my "many men" activities, I would feel deprived and ultimately, cheated out of this wonder phase in my life.

  6. I want the bow on them!! lol. Drooling!

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