One comment came from a early 20s gay guy living in London, Kenn-do, who writes the blog King of My own Land. Like all hot, young, gay guys living in a major centre, he is bombarded by online messages from older guys, trolling for sex, many of whom won't take "not interested" for an answer. It must be exasperating for young guys to receive hundreds of explicit and unwanted online proposals.
Several times per day, I receive online messages from men who I'm not interested in sexually. I generally turn down proposals from cross-dressers, trans-men, those wishing to engage in watersports, tops with monster cocks, men in their 60s and extremely overweight and hairy bears. But I am I'm re-thinking my views on some of those categories.
I try very hard to be as polite online as I am face-to-face. I live in a smallish city with an even smaller gay community and I don't want to get a reputation for being rude or cruel. You never know when you'll need a friend. In fact, I've become real-life friends with several of the guys I turned down sexually.
I respond to all these wanted messages with a "No thank you" or "Sorry, I'm not interested," followed by a brief explanation. That's where the exchange should end. In the vast majority of the cases, the other guy will respond with one final message, thanking me for my honesty. But for a young guy who receives hundreds of unwanted messages, such a typed-out rejection would be too time-consuming; ignoring or blocking them probably would be more efficient.
Kenn-do also apologized for using words such as "troll" and "creeper" in his descriptions of these older men. I find you (through your writing) to be intelligent, thoughtful and mature beyond your years. But, as every older person knows, we age with frightening speed and Kenn-do, you will be an "old troll" before you know it! Just sayin' ...
This week, I have received repeated "let's meet" messages from two different guys in their 60s despite a firm "not interested" comment from me. It's awkward to be constantly receiving messages from them at all hours of the day or night and on different hookup sites. Rather than blocking them, I am now ignoring their messages.
I have learned much during my 2.5 years on the gay hookup sites. I hope that will never be accused of being an online creeper because I NEVER initiate messages online to guys of any age, although I admit, my views on this might change as I get older. I get more than enough attention from guys seeing me out online. Also, I avoid a lot of online rejection because clearly, the men are already interested in me if they choose to send a message.
On occasion when I get dumped online, I never persist sending repeated messages to re-establish contact. I send one message only and if the guy is interested, he will let me know. Repeated messaging is just annoying, stalker-ish and in the end, needy and pathetic.