Monday, November 25, 2013

The Blogger MEME

This great MEME was created by the Blogger King, Dr. Spo, who I had the pleasure of meeting last August with his handsome husband who also writes a blog.

What you like most about being a blogger?    My life has been enriched by my blogger friends, both online and the ones who I've had the pleasure of meeting in person. 

As well, I've received fantastic, experienced and essential advice on all matters gay:  all I had to do was ask!   I will always be deeply greatful in particular to Will and Sean who helped me so much in my journey.  My coming-out would have been desperately lonely without my blog to reach out to a world full of support.

I like the fact that my blog has served as an online diary of my terrifying coming-out and divorce journey.  It is a record of the most incredible story (if only to me) which married, closeted men from around the world have responded to in private e-mails.

How many bloggers have you met?   I've had the enormous pleasure to have met nine bloggers so far .... two Canadians and the rest in the USA.  Fine people, all!  I deeply regret that we all don't live closer so that we could become friends in real life as well.

Do you ever go back and read your old entries? No.... but one day I will.   Right now, it would be too painful to read the posts written at the peak of my harrowing coming-out and divorce.  Doing so would force me to relive the fear, uncertainty, suicidal thoughts and my despair that things would never get better.  My emotions were so raw and at that time that many of these posts were written.,

Do you share your job skills here?    I blogged for a couple years without ever revealing that I was a teacher. I was worried that revealing my job would provide more clues to those readers who were actively trying to guess my real identity.

Also, I was concerned that I would come across as unprofessional and as someone not to be trusted with young people, because of my blogging of my sexual exploits.  But eventually, I started to blog about my teaching life because it is so important to my story.

Have you changed your views about anything thanks to blogging?   When I first started, I thought that I was the only married man in the world in my situation.   I have since learned that there are more guys like me across the world that I could possibiliy have imagined. 
I also have learned that there are an infinite number of ways to be gay.   Feminine / masculine, with / without fetishes, transgendered, open / monogomous, tops / bottoms.... the list is endless.   The LGBTQ community is incredibly diverse and that everyone deserves our support.

Do your coworkers know about your blog?    NO!!!! And they must never learn about it. If my blog became known in my town, it would cause enormous problems professionally due to it's sexual content. My online activities probably would be brought to the attention of my employer and the professional body regulating teachers in my province.

What advice would you give for successful blogging?
A. Blog from the heart. If you're not blogging with total honesty about your feelings, what's the point?

B. I always try to blog in "real time." This means that I blog about events / drama which are occuring at that moment or perhaps happened a day or two earlier. I find that blog posts written about past events lack the raw emotion of those written in the heat of the moment.

C:  Post lots of pictures of hot, naked men and get yourself listed on as many blogrolls as possible including

What is your opinion of aardvarks?   My immediate thought that this was a sexual innuendo.   I'd like to spend some sexytime with the dude pictured at right with the magnificent, aardvark-like appendange.

Do you publish everything you write?   Yes. I write the posts and click "publish" before I start second guessing or censoring myself.

If you could make ‘three rules’ for blogging, what would they be?  
#1:  Don't be afraid to reveal your emotions:  your fears, joys, insecurities and angst.
#2:  Keep your posts brief!  I write a post and then edit, edit, edit, often cutting a post in half and saving the rest for another day.
#3:  Cherish the comments which you receive, respond and try to reciprocate on the commenters' blogs if possible.

Do people help you write your blog?   No. Although I sometimes get ideas from other bloggers which I expand or use to relate my own experiences.

Who are your blogger super-heroes?    How could I choose from so many favourites? I have many "must-read" blogs which I look at every day. 

But John Gray of Going Gently is a 50 year old Welshmen who lives in a small village in Wales with his university professor husband and a large menagerie of animals.  He's hysterically funny in his understated British way and attracts a huge following of devoted readers.
Final question (if you dare!) :Have you slept with any of your fellow bloggers? NO.... but that might be on my blogger bucket list, some of them, anyway.


  1. Thanks for this. Blogging can be a way to organize your thought and almost a substitute for therapy. Sometimes the readers' comments help you see a different perspective.

    1. You're welcome! I doubt that any therapist in my town could provide the expert "gay" advice and support that my blogger friends provide.

      Blogging also helps me keep my courage up in the face of adversity, knowing that others sre accompanying me on my journey.

  2. boo hoo hoo, you'll NEVER sleep with me, boo hoo hoo! :`(

    that's ok, buddybear, I loves ya anyway! :)

    PS - that aardvark guy...oh my!

  3. Cool answers. Mine will be up tomorrow.

    Keep up the blogging!

    Peace <3

  4. I was hoping you would do this!
    Your "C" advice made me laugh out loud!

    1. I'm so glad you liked it! Sexy titles like "Nudist Erections" and "Hard Cocks in Spandex" really help boost page views too!

  5. You've outdone yourself this morning, particular with gentlemen # 2 and 3 -- the sense of invitation to a great feast is tangibly coming through the screen.

    Thank you for the shout out; it's been a pleasure reading you and I am very happy to have been any help in springing you from the guilt and fear in which you began into becoming the wonderfully outgoing, skilled, caring and happy gay man you are today. Yes, I wish we were closer to each other geographically than we are, but on the other hand I have met bloggers from all over this country right to the Pacific Ocean and even as far away as Tokyo and Vienna! So, who knows what might happen some day?

    1. Thanks, Will, for your kind words. And yes, your advice has helped me more than you'll ever know.

      I'm betting that we'll meet one day.

  6. That Going Gently blog is great. Thanks for pointing us to it.

  7. love this open minded blog, keep it up xoxo


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