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Hottie Cub: "Would you be willing to be seen in public with me?"
Buddy Bear: ** hesitates** "Yes, I'd be seen in public with you. But I wouldn't go the movies with you and sit there surrounded by dozens of my students." My gay comfort level is being pushed along here, I think. I haven't yet gone out in public in my own town with another gay guy in a ... sort of.... dating situation.
He's a fantastic kisser, experienced and "open to pretty much anything." I know he will help me expand my sexual repertoire. He loves to cuddle as we hold each other tight..... my kind of a guy! As well, he's very nice with a great deal of perceptiveness and common sense.
We spend a couple of hours together in my own bed.... Such sweetness! Fantastic! Then I heard my son's dirt bike pull into the yard. OMFG! Because of the extreme heat, my son was back from his grass-cutting job at a nearby park three hours early!!
I was quite flustered, but I had to face the inevitable. Hottie Cub and my son had to meet. I wasn't going to make Hottie hide under the bed or climb out the window. We got dressed and went outside. I said to my son, "Hi, _ _ _, this is my friend ...er ... Brian." (In my panic, I had forgotten Hottie's real name.)
My son is nearly 16 and pretty oblivious to social cues, I think, but the expression on his face was priceless. Surprise, followed by deep thought and a narrowing of his eyes (I could practically see the gears turning in his brain) and finally, his "aha!" moment. He said "Hello", smiled, shook Hottie's hand and then excused himself.
Hottie Cub exclaimed: "Oh, my God.... he's so handsome! He's a clone of you!! He looked really surprised when I came out. "
BB: "Well, He already knows I'm gay. I think his sister told him that I'm seeing guys. (see Texting Oops!) I'm sure he knows what we were doing."
Hottie Cub: "Does that bother you?"
BB: "It'll be okay."
Another step forward for all of us....
That was close - imagine if he had left his jobs even sooner?
ReplyDeleteOne more step. You should probably bring it up in a day or two if he doesn't.
"...narrowing of his eyes" LOL! I love it!!!
ReplyDeleteHA! That's fantastic. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteReading between the lines I'd say you need to worry as much about becoming attached to him as you worry he will to you! I refused to consider anyone that much younger for the long term too. Had a "buddy" who had to work two years to overcome the fifteen year difference. Been together twenty+ years and couldn't be happier.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great story about your son coming home early. I wonder what he really thinks - maybe you should follow up with him or his sisters.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you do have to watch out for those younger guys. In general they are too immature to be considered for long-term relations. And I thought for the first few months I was with this guy 24 years younger. But he stuck with me and we've been together a couple of years now...
Close one!!! WOW... it's cool you can have that openness!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm not sure we're that "open" since I am not planning on discussing this with my son right now. No need to force a discussion at this point. As time goes on, my kids will meet other men in my life. Eventually, one of them will spend the night with the kids' knowledge. It's all a progression!
DeleteThanks for commenting, everyone, especially from the "voices of experience", Paul and Rex who are with younger guys. All I ever wanted was to (eventually) be in a LTR and then a marriage with a nice guy my age. I couldn't imagine introducing my kids to their future stepfather if he is really close to them in age.
ReplyDeleteAs I am blogging about life in real time, I have no idea how the story will go!
Buddy, I told you it wouldn't be that bad. You survived. But if I can point something out to you. Your wife "caught" you, your son "caught" you. Perhaps it is time for you to be the one who choses when things come out in to the open. IOW, maybe introduce your dates (if more than a one time fling) to the kids. You may be surprised. They may feel more comfortable knowing you trust them and that way, you won't appear ashamed either. I haven't had the chance yet but only due to circumstances. I have had male dates with friends around. And my daughter would have met my guy if he hadn't had a change of plans. You live in a gay accepting culture. I don't and I can do it. We have a lot in common with this journey. So I'm just giving my opinion. Good luck which ever way it goes. We are all there for you. As for discussion with son, perhaps a small "if you want to ask anything or discuss, let me know. Otherwise we won't mention it" might be in order.
ReplyDeleteI give you a lot of credit for handling the situation with honesty and discretion. No need to spell out the details and kudos for not hiding or lying. You have some additional obstacles that I never had to deal with and I give you credit. I have to admit the post gave me a hearty chuckle too. I can't even imagine the looks / expressions on all three of your faces at different points of this story.
ReplyDeleteA good rule of thumb is you should never feel embarrassed by your friends, and if you are, then look closely at this.
ReplyDeleteWise advice indeed! In fairness, it was the "hookup" nature of the situation and the role reversal (father hooking up, nearly caught by his son) which caused the embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I could NEVER imagine introducing Hottie Cub to my parents as my future husband. It wouldn't be his gender as the sticking point but his age....