Monday, November 7, 2011


Don't worry, I know I'm not a fatso, despite what the BMI Calculator says.  I just like attention-getting titles on my blog posts.

On my last post, wcs asked, "What do you attribute your gain to?  Stress?  Not getting enough exercise because of the back issues? And do you have a plan for losing it?" 

My weight gain (+30 pounds in six months) started when I was immobile for five weeks in the spring with my spinal problem. Since then and until recently *, I've had to limit even basic activities such as walking or standing or I got numbness in my feet which spread to my knees.

* My spinal symptoms are much improved since Hottie Physiotherapist has been doing me once a week.....  well, I mean, I wish he was doing me.

I've been finding my divorce journey (but not the gay part of it) increasingly stressful now that we're dealing with real estate.  Big bucks!  I am anticipating a very serious "cash flow" problem very soon and have been waking up in the wee hours with worry.  This is very unusual for me.  Although we have our agreement and a sequence of events mapped out (with lawyers, bankers etc), I know from experience that  erratic behaviour and anger issues can cause a conflict to arise at any time.   This is the most stressful thing at all. 

Normally, my stress relief involves exercise: cross-country skiing, snowboarding and running, especially training for a marathon.  None of these are not possible right now although I hope to start cross-country skiing again in about a month.

So, comfort eating is the order of the day and I don't feel guilty about it at all.  My other strong inclination for stress relief involves vodka and whiskey so food seems a safer choice.

When this house sells and I'm settled into my new house, I'll be able to shed at least 75% of the weight gain easily enough by the usual methods. I'll use portion control, cut back on meats and fats severely and go heavily into beans, whole grains and veggies and drink plenty of water.

The best place for me to exercise will-power is at the store by not buying high-calorie treats such as chips, ice cream and alcohol. Similarly, I rarely eat in a restaurant, fast food or otherwise, so it is easy to avoid high-fat, less-healthy restaurant food.

Around my new home there are excellent hiking trails so walking will be a daily event.  I plan to get a swim pass at our local university pool and do lane swimming on alternate days just as my doctor ordered.  I find lane swimming as boring as hell, but there are compensations.

If the timing is right, I'll be swimming at the same time as the Speedo-clad university swim team.   Such beautiful young men .... with amazing flat stomachs and sexy long legs!  As an extra bonus, the change rooms and the showers are all open concept.  Sausage fest!

I hope I can be discreet when I watch the soapy water running between those shiny ass cracks or dripping off the flopping cocks.  More likely, I will come across as some pervy old man.  I'll need to brush up on my locker room etiquette before I go. 

Locker Room Etiquette for the Gay Man


  1. I don't know about you, but as I approach 50, I've found my erections are not nearly as spontaneous as they used to be. Perhaps this would be a good thing if I were in the locker room of the local university swim team at shower time.

  2. Thanks for the wonderful explanation. The photos helped. My problem is that I live in wine country. I cannot deprive myself of the bounty of the vines. And, as we know, alcohol is simply empty calories. My basic diet is good. I don't think I can get any healthier. So, I either increase exercise (difficult at my age and with my back problem), or I reduce alcohol. Difficult, too, since I love wine so much.

    Thankfully, I'm not seriously overweight, so my problem is not serious. Just a few pounds here and there. I know how to conquer it. The question is, do I want to? :)

    Thanks for answering my probing and personal questions!

  3. When getting into shape, try to remember that it's 70% diet and 30% exercise. That's a good equation, when you must take recovery from injury or surgery into account. Lane swimming is boring as hell, but water exercise is easy on the joints. Unfortunately that swim team may not be speedo-clad, as the norms are now the knee-length Speedo Jammers. They compress too much to be truly eye-catching. And as for the hiking trails, go easy but get out there to enjoy the fresh air before it gets too cold!

  4. anne marie in phillyNovember 7, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    pix #1 and #2 - I'd hit them both!

    locker room manners - bwhahahahahaha!

  5. Jack: it's the same for me... spontaneous erections (ones without physical contact) are few and far between... it's sad fact of aging which I never even imagined when I was 20. However, I had one today (a semi)when I met my new intern at work for the first time. A hottie!

    wcs: thanks for asking the questions!! The problem is, if we accept modest weight gain every year (say 3 to 5 pounds), then what will we look like in twenty years when we are 70? It's a slippery slope!

    WranglerMan: thanks for the excellent 70/30% advice. I didn't know that! Your advice means a lot more to me because it came from a handsome, slim guy in his 40s.

    Yes, the "easy on the joints" swimming is just the thing I need. I'll report back on the Speedos or lack thereof. I'll just have to settle for looking at the sexy young men in jammers, despite the "compression" issue. Too funny!

    Anyway, our university's athletic facility has just one mens' change room for everything; wrestling, weight room, basketball, volleyball and the like. (but not the hockey players... darn! they're the hottest of all) I'm sure there will be eye-candy galore, if I'm there at the correct time.

    anne marie: yes, they're amazing, especially guy #2.

  6. I hope you can continue to make progress with your spine. Your health is to be treasured. I agree with WranglerMan - diet trumps exercise but when you combine both you'll be pleased and surprised by the initial progress made. I'll be 'virtually' cheering you on, but be careful not to aggravate or injure yourself.

  7. Vigorous masturbation burns 240 calories a pop, pun intended.

  8. I have just completed a 36 hour long course on nutrition, weight, and exercise. It is all about the calories, baby. Consume less calories than you consume and weight will come off - slowly but surely.

  9. BosGuy: thanks for the concern about my spine. I'm spending about 2 - 3 hours per week receiving a combo of physio and therapeutic massage. I'm making great progress but I have to be VERY careful not to set myself back.

    RG: easy advice to take. I need to find me a twenty-something old hottie... a daily session with him would burn even more calories.

    Ur-Spo: That must have been a very interesting and valuable course. Was it online? I've always (except for the past six months) been very disciplined about my eating) so I know I can do this.

    Another factor: I'm pretty sure that after age 45 our metabolisms head south and we put on weight even more easily than before.

  10. Believe me, you are right, with each year past 50 it gets harder and harder. And the things we want harder and harder don't. Lets see 240/pop 3500/pound. Better buy more lotion.

  11. I like WranglerMan's 70:30 ratio. I had never heard that before but through my personal experience agree with it completely. I don't think you are an over-eater from what I saw of you. You didn't eat very many of the chicken wings at the Anchor Bar.

    It's true what you say about middle age metabolism, but it is controllable. A few hours of cardio per week keeps it high or kick-starts it (in my case). I currently have the metabolism of a 10-year-old, and it's wonderful.

    Does your place of employment have an exercise room you can use? Stationary bikes are great.

  12. Cubby: thanks for your input! I don't know anyone who has had more success with weight loss than you. No, I don't overeat at all... I can't eat all of a typical restaurant meal and usually bring half of it home in a doggie bag for later.

    That's good to hear about the metabolism. "Metabolism of a 10-year-old"... wow!! When I trained for a marathon, I had to eat like a horse and was still losing weight.

    Yes, my workplace has a weight room and a community swimming pool in the same building with lunchtime lane swimming. I rarely have used these as my work day is so intense. I barely have time to eat lunch or have a pee break, let alone work out. But I should try to make some time for exercise during the day.


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