Saturday, March 19, 2011

Progress

Bluebuck Underwear (http://www.bluebuck.net)



Just a couple of months ago, we talked on the telephone only about once a week.  Those one-sided conversations were full of anger, hatred, blame and abuse.

Since then, a transformation has occurred.  In the past two weeks, we've talked on the phone most days; often more than once a day.  I am shocked pleasantly surprised at  how  normal and friendly most of these conversations have become.  We have even recalled fond memories and shared a tiny bit of laughter, "Remember the time when we.......?" 


Our phone conversations are still much easier than  face-to-face encounters which I sometimes find tense.   Mainly, we talk business:

  • The kids:  Johnny wants to do what(!!!) on Friday?
  • Logistics:  I am out of town for work this week; the kids need to stay at your house.
  • Household matters:  The car needs an oil change!

We have acknowledged (but just barely, in passing) the big issue about our financial future and division of assets. There is no need to rush into this discussion. We have to be a good place, communication-wise, to ensure the entire family ends up in the best possible place emotionally, financially and socially.

Recently, I've received a couple of emotional apologies for past bad (ie: abusive) behaviour, which ended up with each of us apologizing to the other.   During one face-to-face meeting, an unexpected, small act of kindness came my way.   I did wonder if it was motivated by guilt or perhaps orchestrated by one of the kids.   However, I shouldn't over-analyze things and just accept it;  I was touched and pleasantly surprised.

Although we are at a very early stage, I think each of us  sees a much happier future ahead in our separate households.  Without any prompting,  the kids have already commented on how much happier each of their parents have become.  I can only hope that this feeling of good will continues.

Random eye-candy:   This cute guy, although a bit young for me, has a lean, natural body with an acceptable amount of fuzz and a nice treasure trail.  I like this picture for a few reasons:  
  1. I have a favourite red Speedo just like his. 
  2. He reminds me of me, in my younger days.  
  3. To me, that view up the legs (the open-crotch shot) is just irresistible!
  4. I like the the way he has the drawstring draped around the side of his bulge.  I used to wear my Speedo's drawstring that way, back in the days when I had a girlish waistline and wore my Speedo in public.  No longer!

8 comments:

  1. Glad to read that it appears the both of you are coming to terms with your respective new realities and are working through this. I can't imagine how trying and awkward this would be for me if the situation was reversed and I have a lot of sympathy for the both of you. It sounds like you are definitely making progress though.

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  2. New reader. Terrific progress. Congrats to both. And what does Johnny want to do??

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  3. Thanks, guys! Yes, we are making progress, but there is a long way to go. We are most concerned about our youngest about the usual things: school performance, wanting to hang out with friends we don't know, sullen behaviour and playing one parent against the other.

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  4. Progress is always good. A solid foundation for even more. Good luck. :)

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  5. Congrats on finding your respective grooves. And I might add, kids are much more resilient than which we give them credit.

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  6. I'm happy and relieved things are warming up between you.

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  7. Thanks, guys, for all your support! It does help a great deal now that my wife and I can talk about things honestly.

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  8. i more speedos for me either, alas.

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